A Note About Scoops

By Jenna Pastuszek

Hi. I’m on a diet. So when I go to the ice cream shoppe (you know it’s more fun with the extra p & the e) and ask for a kid’s size scoop of ice cream, I am hoping that the person behind the  counter will do me a solid and only give me the kid sized scoop. Because if they give me more  scoops, I have no self control and will eat all of them. Did I mention I’m lactose intolerant? 

Do me a favor, and only give me one (or two) sensibly placed pop-styled scoops per song. A  vocal scoop is a movement between notes, sliding from one lower note to a higher note. It  typically happens on the onsets of words and usually appears as a style choice in belted  contemporary musical theatre and/or pop songs. 

One scoop can really go a long way. The more scoops you give me, the less I can appreciate how  delicious the ice cream is, because I’m busy drowning in a sea of self-loathing, gassy misery  wondering why I can’t put the spoon down and whether or not you can possibly sing any of the  notes straight on without sliding into them. 

It’s an easy habit to break once you become aware of it. And it’ll make us further appreciate  your fierce musicianship when you hit us with an emotional scoop at the exact right moment. 

While the bucket of 32 scoops sounds like a good idea today, tomorrow, you’ll be glad you went  with the kid’s size.