COLLAB CORNER: A Guest Post by Kari Lynn Cotone
Tim and I are thrilled to host a new series on the blog called COLLAB CORNER. Here, we feature posts by guest artists- artists who are active parts of our growing IVS Community as clients, creatives, and/or collaborators. If you'd like to contribute a piece of writing, please send it to hello@innovativevoicestudio.com!
An Open Letter to Performing Artists: You Don’t Have to Say No
by Kari Lynn Cotone
Dear Artist,
Take a moment and put yourself back into your pre-pandemic life.
(I know, I know, on the surface this seems pointless. Just trust me. There’s a purpose to this reflection.)
You know that ache? That “I’m so overwhelmed, I can’t focus, the sky is falling, I could combust at any moment” ache?
We’ve all been there.
You need a break. And you need it bad.
Your close friends or family have planned a trip (the break you’ve been aching for!!!), but still, you shamefully say “I can’t go.”
Why?
Well, it could be that it’s risky to go away for a week at the peak of audition season OR you heard they are recasting that role you were in final callbacks for 5 months ago OR you can’t miss that EPA so the casting director doesn’t forget you OR your agent might finally respond to your email *shudder* with that appointment for your dream role.
These are just a few of the countless scenarios that play out in our heads and prompt us to say no. No to that weekend getaway. No to that family event. No to that opportunity to unplug. No matter how badly our souls are aching for it, so often, we say no.
Sound debilitating? It is.
This is pretty much how I’ve lived my life for the past 6 years. I’ve spent hundreds of extra dollars I definitely did not have on last-minute flights because I “just didn’t know if I’d be available.” The joke was on me because I always ended up being very much available. I’ve done little to no travel, I’ve missed really important events, and I’ve spent a lot of time thinking “I really wish I would have gone” after the fact.
Dear Artist, my sweet, stunning, incredible friend,
When theatre returns I know so many of us want it to look much different than the industry that came to a screeching halt last March. I believe that saying yes to the things that fill your cup outside of the industry is an essential way to take your power back when you return to performing.
I recognize the level of privilege coincided with taking a vacation and I understand how a challenging situation or empty bank account is a legitimate reason to say no. But regardless of if you’re able to afford a trip to Australia or a walk around a different neighborhood, the sentiment is the same: Do something for you. Seek out something new. Listen to that ache. Don’t settle for suffering because it’s “just the way it is.”
I’m leaving that mindset with pre-pandemic Kari and I want you to join me.
It doesn’t have to be this way.
Here why we need to let go of anxiety-inducing what-ifs and say yes to filling our personal cup in 2021 and beyond.
A change of scenery can change everything.
Most creatives are inspired by the world around them. We observe environments and people in a unique way. We study music and lyrics through an analytical and empathetic lens. We are struck with inspiration that can lead to new ideas, good and bad ones, but new, none-the-less.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge fan of structure, but nothing kills a creative spark like the mundane. We need space to see something new. So when the burnout ache creeps in, step away. Get out of Manhattan and walk around Brooklyn instead. Call someone you love and see if they can carve out two days to take a train somewhere for a weekend getaway. Sit on a park bench and give yourself the opportunity to just be bored. Glennon Doyle says “The moment after we don’t know what to do with ourselves is the moment we find ourselves.” When we sit in the restlessness just a few moments longer than feels comfortable, we come out the other end in that magic calm we didn’t know we needed.
Creatives love what they do, but it’s really hard to love something when you’re drowning in burnout.
We’ve chosen the beautiful and treacherous path of loving what we do for a living. It’s a gift. It’s brave. And it’s a heavy lift. On some days, it requires an incredible amount of emotional labor. But there’s a way to make the lift a little lighter.
When you step away, unplug, or take that trip, resist the urge to see it through the filter of “this could keep me away from a career-changing opportunity.” All that mindset will do is set you up for disappointment when that career-changing opportunity actually does or doesn’t come through.
Try this instead: “This period of time (minutes, days, weeks, months-- if this pandemic taught us anything it’s that, yes, you can take months off!) is an opportunity to see something new, get re-inspired, and breathe. I need this to be the person I want to be.”
That, my friends, is the key to a sustainable creative career.
If you (or they) want to make it happen, it will happen.
I’m not going to pretend like that life-altering call can’t come. It could. And it might.
I was once with my family in Cleveland when I got called in for an immediate replacement in one of my dream shows. It was last minute and I couldn’t make it back to NY for the 2-hour window of appointments. Was I disappointed? Definitely. Did they call me in again in a couple of months? They sure did.
Trust yourself. Keep doing the work. And know that if Lin-Manuel Miranda comes calling and you’re out of town, you’ll either find a way to get there or you won’t be able to get there. But the truth is if it’s for you, it will find you.
Dear Artist… That audition is not now or never.
It just isn’t.
When we return to the hustle of showbiz, please do not forget that you need to fill up, you need to take breaks, and you need to listen to that ache. You need to do all of this just as much as you need to make your dreams come true.
Actually - you need it more.
You do not have to be available at all times.
You can be in control of your own life.
And you can take that vacation.
Author Bio:
Kari is a writer and actor based in NYC. She believes storytelling is the most powerful gateway to connection and feels at home when she is plugged into creative communities. If you’re a multi-hyphenate creative, Kari wants to hear your story! Connect with her on IG, Twitter, and Clubhouse @karilynncotone, and learn more about her copywriting biz, Words For Voices, at karilynncotone.com.